Thursday, November 16, 2006

Zoomba, Zoomba, Zoomba!

When you go on a trip with a friend who runs a minimum of 6 miles a day you are destined to be talked into taking a workout class. And even if the workout class sounds awesome because of the cool latin music that is played in it, you will not be able to keep up with said friend who runs a minimum of 6 miles a day. And when said friend is finished with the class and says, "That was awesome!!!" over and over again, inside you will be only thinking, "Holy God...that about killed me."

And if you don't believe me, just looking at the glowing red face that is mine, and you will know that although I am smiling on the outside, deep, deep inside, you know where the muscles exist, I am praying that I will be able to walk the next day!

Zoomba, Zoomba, Zooooooomba!

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Big Bad Halloween Candy Wolf

One week from tomorrow until I'm gone, baby! So far 1200/day is not working. But now I'm at least used to starving. I'm a little afraid of Mexico because if 1200/day is causting me to maintain, what's my body going to do on Mexican food??? And beer??? And tequila???

Oh, and what's up the parents in this neighborhood buying the expensive chocolate candy. Don't they know I'm STARVING!!!!!

Monday, October 23, 2006

Nothing Lost, Nothing Gained

Well...nothing is lost, but nothing has been gained. It's very frustrating. But I will stick with the 1200 calories a day until I leave in 2 1/2 weeks. Then...who knows what I'll do. I did splurge this weekend and shared a pitcher of light beer with the husband. Perhaps in a couple of days, that will show up. I almost started to blow it again on Sunday, but thanks to the husband, I didn't dive into a bag of Gardettos! Oh, but they still sound really, really good.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

It's working, but...

I

cannot

blog...

No

energy...

I'm

starving!

Friday, October 06, 2006

AIIIEEEEChiwawa!

So I broke down and got on the scale today...AIIIIIEEEEEChiwawa! Now that was scary. But now I remember why I don't weigh. It puts me in a bad mood. And when I weigh light, I feel the freedom to stuff my face! So, no more scale. The husband insists we keep it out because he likes to weigh daily. So, I'm going to have to white nuckle it.

Wish me luck!

BTW...I bought some Slim Fast to try. I haven't had it in about ten years. I don't remember it tasting this nasty. Oh well. Guess I'll have to white nuckle that too. I'm definitely not going to buy any more. Or maybe I'll get used to it, kind of like I had to with the diet pop.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Weight:??????

So I'm feeling a little better these days. I dont' know if I'm shrinking or not. It's kind of weird not weighing in. Some days the scale (which the husband insists we keep) calls to me. I think my clothes are getting bigger, but it could just be in my head. You know what's weird? I've found that when I really pay attention to what my body is craving, and how much it actually wants to eat to feel full, it's really not a lot of food. And really it's pretty healthy. Odd, huh?

On a side note. I told my Mother that I thought our family had a really sick way of dealing with weight. And even though they are all super-thin people, they have an unatural obsession with looks, etc. I think I hurt her feelings. But really, that's the way I think it is. I think every generation either breaks away from an unhealthy cycle from their family of origin or feeds that cycle and escalates it. It think the food thing is going to be my thing to conquest. My children? Perhaps Mommy's little computer obsession...;)

Anyway, not weighing and really paying attention to what I'm feeling seems to be really working so far. However, I am disappointed that I'm not going to be where I want for Mexico in November. I am going to be the big girl of the group. YIKES! Oh Well...perhaps one good booze cruise, and I won't care any more. Oh no, I hope the alcohol thing is not what my children will have to work on.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Bye-bye!

So I've decided to get rid of my scale. I was thinking back to when I didn't have trouble with food. I had to go WAYYYYYYYY back, back to the days of skinny jeans and tucked in shirts. Back to the day where I thought pleats in my pants actually looked good on me, gave me some bulk. Back to when I had to double pad my bras just to get a little bump, back to the days of non-starving Kelly.

And you know what I remember about those days? Two things. I didn't even think about food, un-like the total obsession I have now. And, I didn't own a scale. So obviously the easier of the two for me right now is getting rid of the scale. Obsessing about food? Now that's a little harder. So for now, bye-bye scale. I used you well, but you have turned me into a freak who's entirely too obsessed with my weight. Bye-bye and good riddance!

Well maybe just one last weigh-in...

Monday, August 21, 2006

Weight: 152

Well that's disappointing. Last Friday I reached 150. I guess I'm going to have to lay off of the wine being that's the only diet change I made this weekend. Big D and I went out last Saturday, and I loves me some wine! I'm so sad.

Today started a new workout program with Self.com. I'm doing the lose 8 pounds in 4 weeks. Basically it just changes your cardio a little bit and gives you a new toning program. Toning is no problem f0r me as I am an avid weight lifter. But cardio? BLECH! BLECH! BLECH! BLECH! BLECH! Needless to say, after todays cardio, I was drenched in sweat and tired. Yeah, I was lovely at the bus stop this morning with my son. Thank goodness for my new OSU hat! Now I just need to figure out a way to cover up the glowing red face I had.

On a more positive note I think my treadmill is dying. Every time I pumped it up to a running speed, it started making this loud popping noise. My husband will be disappointed, but I'm loving the idea of the excuse not to get on it. wahahahahaha...that's my evil laugh for those of you who don't know.

Positives:
1. Got the work-out done by 8:30 this morning.
2. B's back at school and is excited by it! C's going this afternoon and is excited as well.
3. Tomorrow's a cardio day off! WOOHOO! O yeah! Can you feel my excitement?!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Weight: 153....errrrrrrrrr...

What?! Back to this number again. I was finally getting excited. Yesterday I popped up at 151. I was happy considering I was out of town this past weekend and had to eat out every meal. And at a water park where the food is nothing but "fair" food, it was really hard to be good. I did OK.

Hopefully today's gain is just a fluke...or water...or something.

Positives:
1. B's teacher seems nice.
2. Enjoyed volunteering at the school.
3. 2 more days until kids are back at school!:)

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Weight: 152!!!! Yay!

Finally getting past the 153 mark. Keep going down baby!

I bought some fantastic Artisan bread this week. It's strawberry, blueberry, and raspberry sour dough. I've eaten the entire loaf plain in 3 days. I think yesterday the only thing I ate besides the bread was a piece of chicken. Oh my...now that's some good nutrition. I'll have to be more careful and get something less tempting next week.

Positives:
1. Had fun swimming with the kids and the ladies at a friends pool this morning.
2. Don't have to go anywhere the rest of the day and am already in my jammies.
3. I'm cooking a new recipe this evening and it looks like it's going to be really yummy.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Weight: 153

So I'm on hold. I have a masterplan this week to get the next three off. Back to most veggies, fruit and protein. At least I didn't gain this past weekend like I did last weekend.

Last night I watched a little of a celebrity weight loss show on VH-1. On it was a former Baywatch babe. She weighed in at, drum-roll, 152! The horror! Anyway, she said she said the perfect weight for her was 120-125, and she's a whole inch taller than me! So...now I'm competing with her. Of course she doesn't know it. Sick, huh? I'm now competing with my imaginary TV competitor. What have I sunk to?

Oh well, whatever it takes.

Note: Last Wednesday I went to a friend's house to swim with the kids. I packed my healthy food to eat and was proud of my willpower in doing so. Then my skinny friend, Miss Size 0, plops down chips and hershey kisses down on the table in front of me. I think she's being passively aggressive and it trying to tempt me. Because as you know, the world revolves around me! I think she wants to be the only skinny girl.

Actually, I think I'm getting dilusional because I'm so hungry! Oh no! I'm getting mean like mean skinny girl. I better go eat something.

Positives:
1. I don't have to be anywhere to do anything today.
2. I got all of my writings down before 8:30 in the morning.
3. My daugter is being super sweet today in that she's in love with Mommy and is sitting right next to me working on her "puter."

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Struggling

Weight: Who the heck knows? I sure didn't weigh today.

I've been struggling with the eating lately. Actually I'm doing OK with the eating...sticking to the plan. But I can't seem to figure out what that nagging feeling is in the pit of the stomach that causes me to feel hungry when I've just eaten plenty of good, nutritious food. It's like little man person inside that keeps poking me and says, "go eat some crap. go eat some crap. White sugar is gooooooodddd....doooooo it!" It's taking everything I have not to give in. At what point does that little man go away?

Positives:
1. I thought of a brilliant punishment for little children who lie...make them do my housework. I don't know how effective it is, but at least I get my stuff done!
2. Found a good motivational dress to fit into for Mexico. If I accomplish my goal, I will look totally hot in it!
3. Talked to an old friend today. Enjoyed rehashing the good memories.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Weight: 153

OK..not in the mood to list the food to eat today. Well actually, the day is almost over. So...too late! Went to visit a friend today who has a new baby. Unfortunately, ton's of people have brought sweets over to her. I made it two hours and finally broke down and had a piece of coconut cake..mmmmmm. I was so distracted by the baby, I forgot my internal chant of Mexico, Mexico, Mexico. God I hope the spell of the impending trip isn't wearing off already!

Positives:
1. Got to cuddle with a sweet new baby today!
2. C testing by her speech therapist showed dramatic improvement up to the NORMAL ranges! woohoo!
3. Am looking forward to the big one mile FUN run tonight with the kids.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Weight: 153/2...well at least that's what it bounced between as I obsessively got on and off of the scale while adjusting the balance. I think I need a digital scale. Yeah...that's what I need! Let's make my obsession even worse by getting it down to the 1/10th of a pound! Smart Kelly!

I'm a little late today getting my entry in. I normally do it in the morning before the kids are up, but I was too interested in reading other people's blogs today. Dang you fascinating writers! So today was a great experiment. Would Kelly still be good without planning her entire eating day ahead of time?

Answer: Yes...so far. I can't get the idea of being the big girl in Mexico out of my head. We'll see how long that idea lasts. Hopefully for 3 months!lol

Food planning:
Bkfst: Total with skim milk
Snack: 1 apple/a touch of movie popcorn (gave 2/3 of the small bag to a girlfriends son at the movies...now that took some willpower!)
Lunch: tomato/corn/avacado salad over whole wheat pasta/1 cheese stick
Dinner: Probably the same as lunch with maybe some left over pork loin.
Dessert: 1 WW popsicle
Lots 'o H2O

Positives:
1. Got signed up for a one mile fun run with the kids/husband/friends. Should be fun.
2. C is loving her new glasses. Very relieved about not having to fight the new glasses war.
3. The Mexico Diet is holding!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Weight: 153

So, I have a loss. I'm pretty happy about that. I have a feeling that it's going to be a struggle today. I've been having trouble sleeping, and I'm always hungry when I'm tired. Maybe I can grab a nap today at the movie theater.

C had a major breakdown at the pool yesterday. I knew not to take the advice of the swim teacher to try to force her to swim. Now C doesn't want to go back to the pool. The poor thing is terrified, and she has made herself sick thinking about it. Poor baby. I have got to learn to just trust my instincts about knowing when to push and knowing when not to.

Food plan:
Bkfst: Total & skim milk
Snack: Cheese stick and apple
Lunch: ???????Salad or something???????
Dinner: Pork loin & cucumber/tomato salad
Dessert: WW fudgesicle or popsicle

Positives:
1. B was really good and helpful this morning.
2. C's last day of swimming lessons!
3. Talked to friend this morning and enjoyed our conversation which was really more of a venting. Feel grateful that she trusts me with her stuff and I with my stuff.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Weight: 154

Booked flights yesterday, so now I'm locked into the Mexico diet. Talked to Tina yesterday, and she gave me some tips for the lower body. Added them today to my weight training regimine. I think I'm going to be sore tomorrow.

Children are making me crazy today. B is in a "I'm going to do whatever the Hell I want to mood. I don't have to mind Mom." mood. In fact, I just caught him sticking his tongue out at me, because I'm making him clean his room. I swear. Will that boy ever learn that when Mom's unhappy, nobody's happy?

C for the past few months has been in that frame of mind. But now she's seemed to have snapped out of it and my sweet girl is back. For example, I asked her to clean her room and AMAZING! that's what she is doing.

So my question is, do one of my children always have to be in a testing Mom stage?

My Mom's somewhere probably laughing right now.

Well, that's all for today.

Food plan:
Bkfst.: Total + skim milk
Lunch: Grilled pork loin + green salad
Snack: Apple, Cheese stick
Dinner: Salad with chicken, apples, almonds, cranberries, raspberry dressing
Lots 'o H2O

Positives:
1. Get to go on a good trip.
2. Husband is positive acting concerning trip and booked time off to take care of the kids.
3. Got a great deal on airfare...a feat in itself!

Monday, July 24, 2006

Weight: 155

So this weekend I gained the pound back. I blame it on wine and good living!lol Oh well. Summer is a hard time for me to diet. Too much socializing going on with the pool, etc.

Now, however, some friends and I are planning a trip to Mexico. We've almost solidified the dates, and so I'm starting to think about what I'm needing to get done before I go. Top of the list...lose at least 20 pounds! I think I'll call it the Mexico diet. We'll see how it goes. I had a friend who used to be a trainer. Maybe she can hook me up with a workout regimen. I know what to do as far as food is concerned. I'm an expert at that! Most overweight people who have tried to lose weight are experts at knowing what they're supposed to eat. It's making ourselves do it is the problem. But now I have the Mexico and wearing a bathing suit in the middle of winter motivation going for me. YIKES! We'll see how it goes.

Food plan:
Breakfast: Total with skim milk
Lunch: Scrambled egg whites with Canadian bacon and onions, apple.
Snack: Apple? Cantaloupe?
Dinner: Grilled Pork Chop (no bone), salad with tomatoes, carrots, red onions, tangy tomato dressing
Dessert: 1 or 2 WW fudgesicles
Lots O Water.

Positives:
1. Husband not being a pain in the butt about Mexico girls trip
2. Kids are being really good this morning.
3. Good friends to go on trip with!
Weight: 155

So this weekend I gained the pound back. I blame it on wine and good living!lol Oh well. Summer is a hard time for me to diet. Too much socializing going on with the pool, etc.

Now, however, some friends and I are planning a trip to Mexico. We've almost solidified the dates, and so I'm starting to think about what I'm needing to get done before I go. Top of the list...lose at least 20 pounds! I think I'll call it the Mexico diet. We'll see how it goes. I had a friend who used to be a trainer. Maybe she can hook me up with a workout regimen. I know what to do as far as food is concerned. I'm an expert at that! Most overweight people who have tried to lose weight are experts at knowing what they're supposed to eat. It's making ourselves do it is the problem. But now I have the Mexico and wearing a bathing suit in the middle of winter motivation going for me. YIKES! We'll see how it goes.

Food plan:
Breakfast: Total with skim milk
Lunch: Scrambled egg whites with Canadian bacon and onions, apple.
Snack: Apple? Cantaloupe?
Dinner: Grilled Pork Chop (no bone), salad with tomatoes, carrots, red onions, tangy tomato dressing
Dessert: 1 or 2 WW fudgesicles
Lots O Water.

Positives:
1. Husband not being a pain in the butt about Mexico girls trip
2. Kids are being really good this morning.
3. Good friends to go on trip with!

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Weight: 154

Have a crazy busy day today, and I'm struggling to come up with a food plan. Lunch time is at the cheap movies for the kids, can't do an early lunch because of appointments. So what to eat at the movie theater??? I have a cereal bar...maybe that can get me through until we get out.

Did OK yesterday. Ate as planned except my peaches that I bought 2 days ago had already gone bad. So...should have hada different fruit. But had Fiber One Snacks instead. I always go for the easy when I have to be spontaneous. At what point do I ever start going for the good instead of the easy? When does that become natural?

Also, had 2 WW fudgesicles after dinner. Curse the sugar cravings! Other than that, stuck to the plan.

To eat today:
Bkfst: Oatmeal
Snack: Cereal Bar (fiber one)
Lunch: Apple, WW Sdwch.
Snack: Cheese Stick
Dinner: Salad with chicken, tomatoes, apples, cranberries, almonds
65 oz. H2O

Positives:
1. Scale is now showing a loss
2. Am not feeling so surly today. Perhaps I am getting used to feeling hungry.
3. Am looking forward to a night out with the husband Saturday with no kids. Now, I just have to narrow down the 5million things we want to do to 1 or 2!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Weight: 156

Well this is typical. I starve myself for three days, and I get a weight gain. Nice. I'm praying that it was the sangria I drank last night at my dinner club that's causing me to retain water. Actually it could be the high salt restaurant food as well. That's it...I know it couldn't be what I ate last night, could it? Several “experts” have told me that it takes 2-3 days for food you eat to appear as a weight gain or loss. Which means Sunday and Monday's eating could be a delayed loss as well? I hope so. Who knows?

I'm starting to get worried though. I don't think my psyche is up for another failure. The last failure I had happened this winter. I signed up for 10 weeks of Weight Watchers again. I followed their plan religiously which included going to weekly meetings, journaling my food intake, eating the proper amounts of various food groups, drinking my water, etc. and I lost only 2 pounds which happened the first week. I was very discouraged, and it's taken me this long to feel truly motivated again. Now, I'm at a point where I'm starting to obsess over what I eat, and it's making me grumpy. But if I take time off from the plan...I'll probably just gain some more. What a vicious cycle.

On another note:
This weekend I read that a sign for an eating disorder is keeping track of the foods that you eat in a methodical, meticulous, journaling way.

So then my question is, why on every type of new food plan I've gone on, including Weight Watchers, which is supposed to be the best, do they want you to journal about the food you eat?

Just a thought…

To eat today:
Bkfst: Oatmeal
Lunch: Left-over spinach with pine nuts and raisins
Snack: Cheese stick or peaches (mmmmm) or both
Dinner: 4 oz. Steak? with green salad, tomatoes, carrots, red onions, and tangy tomato dressing.
H2O: 64 oz.

Positives:
1. Only have to run one errand today, so it should be easy to stick to food plan.
2. My kitchen is fully stocked, so I don't have to worry about the grocery store.
3. I have a ton of stuff to do around the house to stay busy, so I shouldn't have any down time to snack on crap.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Mean skinny girls

Weight: 155

So I went to a pool party for my son last night. I love the people who invited us. They're from Switzerland (well sort of...she's a transplant from Tibet and he's a transplant from Germany. He says they're from Germany, and she says they're from Switzerland. And they argue about this topic in front of us. Do you see why I love them?). And they are crazy, fun, and don't have the American edit button when they talk. Needless to say I was looking forward to their kid's party.

The party was at our neighborhood pool. I think every 7-year-old in the neighborhood and his or her families were at the pool. Which brings me to the topic of the women in my neighborhood. How do I describe them? I know! Stepford Wives! I'd say 80% of the women in my neighborhood are secretly robots developed by their husbands to please their men in every way including being a perfect physical specimen.

Needless to say, being 15 pounds heavier than last summer, makes me feel totally insecure around these women. I feel like a virtual rolly polly. You add the fact that I don't have the typical Oklahoma edit button when I talk, and that makes me the odd one in the neighborhood.

So, last night we were all sitting down at the pool at the end of the party. I was feeling pretty proud of myself that I had only 2 pieces of thin-crusted pizza, no cake, and only one beer. I was chugging my water because of the crazy ass heat that is plaguing Oklahoma right now (in the 100's...seriously...who needs that?). My husband, who is probably 50 pounds overweight, is talking to a neighbor friend of his about his recent weight loss. They had gotten to the topic of local gyms.

Then I came up with the brilliant idea to ask his wife what she thought of the gym. For you see she is one of those perfect physical specimened wives that I was talking about. I figured she would know better than anyone where the best gym was for working out. And do you know what she said to me?

"The gym's not really going to help you slim down. It's what you put into your mouth. It's all about your diet."

No shit? Really? It's all about what I eat. WOW!!! I had no idea! I am so glad you were here to put me on the right path. Wow...eating less...starving kelly...wow! I am so enlightened!

Wait...was that my question? No.

Hag demon. Go eat something. Then you might not be so grumpy and need to take your frustration out on poor rolly polly me.

Starving kelly

Weight: 155

When I was younger I was SCRAWNY. I struggled to keep the weight on. People used to joke that I would never have a weight problem. And do I have a weight problem now? Some people would say that at 155 I don't. But recently I've had some sort of hormonal flux or whatever, and my body now has the capability to gain 10 pounds in a month with no diet changes and 5 pounds in a week on vacation. So do I have a weight problem? I don't know. But I certainly have a weight gaining problem.

So...I am setting this up today to start a journey. A journey of discovery about myself and my relationship with food, myself and my relationship to body image, myself and my relationship with fat people, myself and my relationship with skinny people, and myself and my relationship with dieting.

I'm going to call it...Starving kelly.