Tuesday, September 11, 2007


So as if you haven't figured it out already, I haven't had time or the energy or the desire...well really these are all just excuses. I just don't want to do it any more. At least for now. So I'm quitting this blog for a while.

Now don't think I still won't have things to say about starving or comments to make about the crazies at the gym, but I think I'll just post them on over at my main blog.

I hope you'll join me.

See you there!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Birds flyin high, you know how I feel...

So a neighbor friend of mine joined my gym. To celebrate her first week at the gym we decided to take a Yoga class together. I hadn't been to Yoga in so long. I had a groin injury last year that took forever too heal, and it broke my Yoga habit. So today it was as if I was starting from scratch.

All of my balancing muscles...gone.

All of my limberness...gone.

All of my stamina...gone.

But, I still loved it anyway. You know why? There's that one pose. You know the pose. Where you lay on the floor, on your back. Your eyes are closed. You are only concentrating on breathing. Everything melts away. And you go into the pre-sleep state. And when you are finally told to open your eyes and you sit up, your body feels so relaxed, so fantastic, so easy.

All of your aches and pains...gone.

All of your tension...gone.

And your easy smile...it's back.

...well at least until the kids get home from school

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Today is going to stink.

I only have a second because I'm rushing to get the kids off to the bus stop, and then straight to the gym for me. Which brings me to my point...off to the gym for me! I haven't been in 10 days. They say that it only takes two week to lose everything you've gained at the gym, and I'm cutting it close! Today is going to stink. Wish me luck.

Oh...and the college kids are back at school today, so I'll have nothing to look at at the gym for distraction but myself. Today is really going to stink.

Oh...I'm back on the diet. I haven't gained anything, but I really didn't finish my goal. So...back on track today. Yeah, today is really, really going to stink.

How's it goin' for you?

Friday, August 17, 2007

Weekly Weigh-In - No change

Haven't gained, haven't lost, haven't been trying.

Enough said!

Friday, August 03, 2007

Future MILF: Weekly Weigh-In

Weight: 154.6...up .6

Whew! I was up 3.2. I guess the starvation worked. Now I just have to get off 4.6 before...what...next Friday? Oh lord help me! I think that's going to be a tough one. But I'm going to try, oh , and pray for a miracle!

Exercise: Running once with the girl (she's training for the next fun run and is so cute running her 1 mile of training!), and weights 2x.

Diet: Same old, same old except I'm off the booze until next Friday, especially considering it always adds 1 or 2 pounds to my girth.

I don't have must to say this week. I'm off to the gym! See you at next week's update!

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Ouch my bum! and The Pep Talk

Lunging squats are so evil. You don't realize their evil until the next day when you can't get out of bed, or sit down on the toilet, or can't make it upstairs to your office, or are afraid to sit down because once you do, you can't get back up again.

But the worst is when you start making your kids run errands for you around the house because the idea of getting up off of this chair...well it's just too much to fathom!

My bum hurts!

Do you feel my pain?

On another note:
I had to give myself a little pep-talk in the mirror today. I made the mistake of weighing, and I'm up some more. Yikes! So I had to give the pep talk... You know the one.

It's the one where you tell yourself it's OK. You can survive this. You can make it through the day without stuffing your face because your sad. You tell yourself to suck it up! Get over it! And get back on track! You will not let this defeat you! You will no let this defeat you! You WILL NOT let this defeat you!

And then you take a deep breath. Walk away from the mirror. And you feel powerful again.

At least through breakfast.

Lunch is up for grabs.

And dinner??? God help you make it through dinner.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

We should abstain from violence, debauchery, evil deeds, sensual-attachment, hatred, anger and ego. ” Atharva Veda

Yeah right!

So I took the weekend off. I drank wine, I ate cookies, and even had a patty-melt. I enjoyed everything but the patty melt. The whole time I was thinking, man...what is this going to do to me? And today I found out what a weekend of debauchery does to my body. It adds 3 pounds is what it does!

Holy Crap! That is so depressing.

So I have to go see my relatives in a couple of weeks. I was hoping to be in the 140's by then. But at 1 pound a week, that's not going to happen. Maybe I can try to get it to 2 pounds a week. That would be OK. I guess.

So OK, I'm going to be totally strict this week. And the next. And part of the next...

And then I'll be in a fun big city with lots of good restaurants.

And the debauchery can happen again!



So I'll gain a few. The kids are back in school the week I get back. I can go kill myself at the gym 5 days a week then to get it off.

But for now, let the starvation begin.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Blogher '07

But I'm taking the time off from blogging anyway!
See you Monday!

Thanks to Lotta for the button!

Wednesday, July 25, 2007


Recently I've been reading a lot about people making fun of Alli, and the people who seem stupid enough to take it. And I have to say I wonder about those people. Do they know what it's like to do everything right and have nothing work? Do they know what it feels like to have people talk behind your back about how they think your full of crap about what your doing, for you'd be losing weight if you actually did what you said you did. Do they know what it's like when some people finally tell you to your face that they think you're "lying to yourself?" Do they know what it's like to see your body go through all sorts of changes that you can't explain and can't control? Do they know what it's like after all of that humiliation to be so afraid of going to the doctor for help because you can't take one more humiliating experience? Do they know how desperate you've become? That you would try a pill even though you are desperately afraid of putting anything in your body that's not natural...to the point where you don't even like to take an acetaminophen? But you try it anyway because you can't take the loss of control one more minute???? Do they know?

And do they know and make fun of these people anyway?


That's pretty mean.


I made this badge for you.

Friday, July 20, 2007

MILF Weekly Weigh-In

Weight: 154, Down .8.
Diet: Same but struggling to keep it that way. I've have been crazy starving this week! I don't know what the deal is. Maybe too many carbs? Who knows.
Exercise: Negatives at the gym 2x, Running once.

Fridays are a struggle for me. All week I weigh 153.something and Friday comes, and I'm always up. But Saturday, I'm back down to what I was during the week. I think my body is playing a little trick with me, but if this is some sort of motivation trick...I'm not interested!

On another note, Tina and I have been doing negatives at the gym lately. For those of you who don't know, negatives work your slow muscles instead of your quick muscles. Basically it's just like regular lifting only you release your lift really, really slowly. And you tend to have to lift a little lighter because it's a LOT harder.

The first time I heard about quick muscles and slow muscles was on some infomercial with the Walker, Texas Ranger guy. It was late, late at night. I had come home from a night out of fun and libations, and there was Chuck in his muscle bound glory demonstrating his latest workout gadget. And as it usually happens when I'm drunk I was fascinated by his infomercial. I vowed to try to work my slow muscles as well as the quick one's which at the time I wasn't working at all.

And as it usually happened, the drunk vow I made didn't make it to sobriety until last week when Tina said, "Let's try something different." Owwwwy ouch ouch ouch! Muscles that have never been sore before (like my back and shoulder muscles) became seriously painful. And muscles that are always sore after a workout (like my triceps) hit a new level of pain, the level where you can't even make yourself lift your arms. Yeah, last week was a seriously painful week.

But this week, things have improved. I'm still sore, but only mildly. It's amazing how quickly a body adapts to changes. I guess that's why they say that one needs to change up their workout often.

Anyway, how was your week?

I'd love to pass out some more awards....I'll be watching!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Bye-Bye 5!

The last time I successfully lost weight I was in Weight Watcher's. When I was in Weight Watcher's, at the meetings they gave out awards for goals achieved. The first goal they gave an award for was the 5 pound goal. Now for some of us the first 5 pounds come off almost instantly. But for other's it came off slowly...oh, so, slowly! But either way when you hit that goal you would get your name announced, you would stand up in front of everybody, and you would gleefully accept your award which was usually something small like a bookmark or something. But you loved that bookmark for it represented something to you, something great that you had done for yourself.

So last week I hit my 5 pounds lost goal. But there was no reward given to me. And quite frankly, I missed it. So...I created my own!


I feel better!

I think I'm going to spread the love. I'm going to send it on over to a gal who started the whole Future M.I.L.F. shabang. Now I know she's already lost like 25 pounds, but no-one gave her an award. So here you go Lotta! Here are your awards.

Wow! That's a lot! Makes you feel good no?

OK, now it's your turn, my readers. Feel free to copy the button and then...

pass it on!

Friday, July 13, 2007

Future MILF: Weekly Weigh-In

Weight: 154.8--Down 1.4
Exercise: Absolutely near nothing. Well I am going to the gym this morning. But really, I'm too obsessed with my new hobby to be interested in a silly thing like exercise!
Diet: Same old, same old.

So finally I'm seeing the 4 again. See how boozin' it up can totally screw up your diet? Two weeks ago on a Tuesday I saw the 4. But then I had a beverage. OK, OK. I had a few beverages. And it's taken me how long to see the 4 again? 1 week and 1/2? Geez Louise! Lesson learned. Well almost...that glass of wine last night did taste mighty fine.

Well I better go and see what the kiddies are doing. They just did this little subversive maneuver past my office door. One did a quick run by. Then the other peeked in quickly and did a quick run by. Now I hear some pretty intense whispering going on....

Little Children! What are you doing??????

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Warning: Gross Factor

thpbthpb thpbthpb
thpbthpb thpbthpb

Some people think it's funny
But it's really red and runny

thpbthpb thpbthpb
thpbthpb thpbthpb


It's my fault really.

I just had to have those yummy dripping in buttery cinnamon/sugar bread sticks from our local pizza joint.


My fault.

(Hey! Don't say I didn't warn you! )

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

The dilema

When I first started gaining weight I stopped buying clothes. I wouldn't let myself have anything new or nice until I got the weight off. But then the weight wouldn't come off. So I started buying clothes.

At first I would only buy the cheap one's. Then I got sick of that and started buying nicer things. I figured that if they weight wouldn't come off, then I should at least try to make myself look as good as possible.

So now I have some favorite's that I love. I put these clothes on, and I forget that I'm over-weight. Only when pictures are taken am I reminded.

But now I've started losing weight.

And last night to go out to dinner with my ladies I put on one of my favorite pair of pants.

They were too big! They were not dramatically too big, but they were big enough that I had to use a belt to cinch them in. And then I panicked, for I know that in 5 more pounds they'll be way to big. And I love these pants! Really love them!

Maybe I'll get them altered.

I knew I shouldn't have bought any clothes until I lost some more weight.

Save your money Big D.

5 more pounds and the shopping will begin!

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Future MILF: Weekly Weigh-In - Update

Weight - today - 3 days after alcohol - 155.6 which is what I was a week ago...exactly. So this week really, nothing lost, nothing gained. A little frustrating as Wednesday morning pre-alcohol I weight 154.2. Whatever. Back on track. I certainly won't be drinking tonight with the girlfriends.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Future MILF: Weekly Weigh-In - Alcohol

Weight: 156.2
Exercise: Walking; Lifting weights; 1K Fun Run with the family
Diet: 1200-1400/under 20 g fat per meal

So why the gain when I was down earlier in the week? One word...alcohol. July 4th was a big party evening. I didn't so much eat too badly, but I did consume quite a bit of alcohol. I'm not too worried as it usually takes 3 fully days to sweat it all out of my system and for my weight to be back to normal on the scale. Usually it stands for about 1-2 pounds. We'll see if that holds true with my new crazy body that's doing it's own thing!

I'll be back tomorrow with another weigh-in! See you then!

Monday, July 02, 2007

One....singular sensation...every little step she takes.....One!

I saw the 4! Woohoo...the four! Do you know how long it's been since I've seen a four on the scale? I know it's just ONE little number but it has been oh, so long. And that reminds me of a story from last week that I've forgotten to share.

At the doctor's office:

The aide as I'm checking out, "Do you work out?"

Me, "Yeah."

The aide, "I can tell. Nothing wiggles on you does it?"


Let that absorb.

Fantastic no?

So what if she could only see me from the waist up because of the tall counter....

I'm reminded of a song.

Here...I'll share it.

One singular sensation, every little step she takes
One thrilling combination, every move that she makes
One smile and suddenly nobody else will do
You know you'll never be lonely with you-know-who

One moment in her presence and you can forget the rest
For the girl is second best to none, son
Oooh! Sigh! Give her your attention
Do I really have to mention she's the one

Really, shouldn't we all sing this song to ourselves???

Go ahead.

Sing it.

You're the one!

Friday, June 29, 2007

Pill to make dieters 'feel full'

Pill to make dieters 'feel full'


Now they just need a pill that makes you quit eating even though you know you're full.


When are they going to develop that?

MILF Weekly Weigh-In

Weight: 155.6 - Down 1.2
Exercise: Gym 2x's avg. 45 minutes each time; Dancing - 1x - 3 hours
Food: 12-1400 calories/day; fat/meal no more than 19 grams

Last Saturday I dropped to 155.6. Yeah the day after the weigh in last Friday. I must have been holding on to some water weight or something. This week I was hoping to see a 4 in my weight. I haven't seen a 4 in so long! But if my pattern hold true I might see a 4 tomorrow morning. Wish me luck!

So far Alli really doesn't seem to have done anything more for me than weight watchers did. I pulled my old paper work from weight watchers, and so far I'm holding true to my pattern of weight loss almost directly to the number. It will be interesting to see what next week holds for me.

Well that's about all I have for this week. Not very exciting...but then again, neither is dieting!

Maybe I'll finally change my workout song for ya for some motivation....

Monday, June 25, 2007

Online Dating

It's the M.I.L.F. thing right? Yeah, probably.

Friday, June 22, 2007

MILF Weekly Weigh-In: My little angry rant filled with profanity.

Weight: 156.8 Down .6---WTF .6?????
Diet: 1200-1400 calories per day with less than 19.6 grams of fat per meal.
Workout: Gym 2x - 1 hour each and at home lifting 45 minutes 1x

OK the Alli experiment is over and I have to say one thing...what a pain in the ass. Not literally as some seem to have become obsessed with, but figuratively. I never had the shitting oil problem. Perhaps because I am 'um following the rules. You know, the basic dieting rules...low fat, balanced diet, etc. If you have the shit's I've decided it's because you're too fucking lazy to do it the right way and you're looking for an easy way out via this pill. You deserve the shits man. But I'm not bitter. No...not at all. You probably lost weight by I don't know, actually eating a vegetable! But me, I struggle--follow the rules--be oh so careful--and do everything anyone has ever told me to do, and I lose fucking .6 pounds! WTF!!!

I guess I'm supposed to be happy with .6 pounds. I guess it's better than nothing. And there were weeks on Weight Watcher's where I only lost .2 and .3 pounds. So I guess I did double my weight loss like Alli promised.

OK, OK, OK...I'll keep going. One more week at least. I was really hoping to average a pound a week, but whatever. Fucking .6 will have to do.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Look at this!

So yesterday I was getting dressed in front of my mirror and I noticed this...

Yeah, it's my arm. But here let me help you...

See that? That's my shoulder muscle. And you can see it! But that's not all...

I have a bicep! It's not a big one. But it's there! See...can you see it?

I don't know what this muscle is but it's bigger isn't it?

I still need to work on this one. But I swear, it doesn't wiggle nearly as much.

What? You're not impressed? Well how about I show you this muscle?

Yeah. You're not messing with me now are ya?

Oh and hey...click on this so I can go to BlogHer '07 OK?

You don't want me to show your the previous shot again now do ya?

Monday, June 18, 2007

Monday, Monday

So I'm sure everybody's wonderin'--did Kelly get the anal leakage from alli? That answer would be no. I already eat a pretty low-fat diet, so according to the warnings I really didn't need to worry. But that didn't stop me from being panicky the whole first day, Saturday. Saturday we had friends to our neighborhood pool for a cookout, and I brought my own meat to grill. Some little kid ate my low-fat dog, and I made the husband make me another one. He was already starting to clean up and said, "Can't you just eat a regular dog?" I shrilly replied, "No! I'm too paranoid about getting the shits!" He looked at me in a way that made me a little uncomfortable.

I guess if you're worried about getting the shits because of the diet you're on that's a bad sign. However, I've decided that since I've already spent the money on the pills, I'm going to ride this through to the end. We'll see what happens. At the very least I'll lose weight because I can't binge eat because my fear of the shits overrides my need to stuff my face with fat. Maybe that's why it works? I don't know.

BTW...Lotta has a good MILF post this week. So...go on over and read it.

And...if you haven't noticed my new workout music section check it out. I'm going to try to change it up often as the mood hits me. Enjoy!

Friday, June 15, 2007

Future MILF: Weekly Weigh-In

Weight: 157.4.....DOWN 1.8! Woohoo!

Diet: 12-1400 caolories per day. However yesterday I ate something that I thought would keep me under my points, but it actually put me over....way over. I hit 2000! Yikes. Oh well, it's raining so it looks like pizza at the pool will be cancelled, so I'll make yesterday my free day. Dang it! I love free day. Especially when I know it's free!

So today I start the alli vs. Wulong experiment and switch to alli. Will keep you posted.

Working out: Lifting twice - 1 1/2 hours. Yeah...that's about it. It did do some gardening, and some hardcore housework that made me sweat. Does that count???lol

Thursday, June 14, 2007

alli vs. the Wulong

As you may remember, I've dropped my calories to 1200-1500 per day since Saturday. And I've been averaging about 13-1400 per day. And, I've been drinking my Wulong tea twice a day after 2 of my main meals. And so far I've lost one pound. Gee I hope I didn't just jinx this by telling you before Friday what I've lost.

Anyway, at about day three I got an advertisement in the mail for alli. To be more precise the cover on the pamphlet said "alli: join the revolution."


I like a good revolution.

So I did a little research. Here's what I found:

"Taken at meal-time, alli works by blocking about 25 per cent of the fat in the food a person eats. Because of the way it works, alli must be used in conjunction with a reduced-calorie, low-fat diet containing about 15 grams of fat per meal. The guides and information supplied in the alli package help the consumer to control the amount of fat in their meals, and to follow an appealing, reduced-calorie, low-fat diet. "

Now there can be some side-effects...

"Users should take a multivitamin once a day, at bedtime, because alli can reduce the absorption of some vitamins."


"Consuming a meal with too much fat, while taking alli , can result in bowel changes such as having an urgent need to use the bathroom. These changes, called treatment effects, generally occur in the first weeks of treatment, are not harmful, and can be managed by following the recommended diet with about 15 grams of fat per meal."

But my brochure made it seem less harsh with this simple picture...

OK...not eating too much fat. Hmmmmmm.... Isn't that what a diet is? I don't know. But I have to diet and take your pill? Really?

Anyway, I think this is what I'm going to do.

I'm going to have a little experiment.

I'll finish out my week with the diet and the Wulong (which is supposed to do the same thing). And starting this Saturday, I'll switch over to alli.

Now I know the first week is a little biased as you always lose the most the first week...but this isn't real science now is it?

Aren't you just excited to see which week causes me to lose more weight?

I am! I'd be excited to just lose another pound next week!lol

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Who knew?

Did you know that if you merely drop calories to lose weight you lose fat AND muscle? I didn't know that. I just read it on the manual that came with my new scale. That explains why the "experts" always want you to exercise while dieting. I always thought that the exercise was a suggestion...you know for your heart? For you have to exercise so excessively for it to burn the excessive calories you're eating so why not just eat less? I mean really. Who has time to exercise the amount that it would require to burn off that last candy bar? Really? Who?

No one. So now I read what I read in my manual. Oooooooohhhhhhhh! Light bulb moment. That's why!

They should just say that instead of suggesting that you exercise as part of a healthy life-style. They should say, "Hey! You! Doofas! Yeah you! If you starve yourself you will become weaker. And someday, your tiny little children will be stronger than you and don't you want to be able to beat them in an arm wrestling match until they're at least 14? I mean it's a self-respect thing yo!"

Yeah...that's what they should say.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Basal Metabolic Rate

This weekend I discovered what Basal Metabolic Rate is. Basically it's the amount of calories you'd burn if you stayed in bed all day.

Wha? Wha?
Oh Sorry. I was so distracted by the glorious image of bed all day.

Anyway. I found this calculator that calculates your BMR, tells you how many calories you need to maintain your weight and how many calories you need to eat if you want to lose.

So my BMR is 1475.64 as of this morning.
And my daily caloric intake with my activity level should be 2029.01 calories
And what I need to lose weight is 1529.01 to 1200 calories per day.

So, all of those months I was eating between 1600 and 1800 and I wasn't losing...well that is why! So for two days I aimed for 1200 calories per day and ended up between 1300 and 1400 calories. And this morning I stepped on the scale. Down one pound!

Now it could be the Wulong. But I've been drinking it for a week with no results.

I think it's the diet. We'll see.

Is it just me or is this stuff just fascinating?

Well I'm off to the gym to lift. Well I'm actually off to yell at my kids because I've told them THREE times to get dressed, and they're sitting in front of the TV like zombies because they think I haven't noticed.

So...I'm going to go kick some little kid butt...and then I'm off to the gym.

See you tomorrow!

Friday, June 08, 2007

Future MILF: Weekly Weigh-In - Starting Anew

New Starting Weight: 159.2

My friend Tina says this is why she hates scales. Point two. What's that? Like point two is going to make any difference. When I was doing weight watchers sometimes all I would lose in a week was point 2. And it got me through the week. I think it's actually better if you're a slow loser like myself.

As long as you don't beat yourself up over a point 2 gain. Which really is the problem with weighing period.

Food: OK...I really can't keep up another blog. I haven't posted at the Munchorama in forever. I may take it down. Or maybe I'll leave it up for when the kids are back in school, and I have more time.

Overall the I did well with the food. Until today at lunch. I WAS STARVING! And I was weak. I had buttered white noodles with spinach and tofu.

BUTTERED....WHITE noodles.

Nice. I'll probably gain 5 pounds over the weekend.

Exercise: This week I was complaining to Tina that my biceps are so much weaker than the rest of my body. But then I walked by a trainer who was with a skinny in shape looking girl doing dips. I saw what she was doing and realized, I am so much tougher than I give myself credit for. I am a total bad ass compared to most of the women in here!

A long time ago I used to come home from a sports conditioning class, where we mostly did kick boxing, totally pumped up full of testosterone.

I used to say to my husband, "Wanna wrestle. I can take ya! Do ya? Do ya?"


He could always take me.

But now, now I'm a bad ass.

I think I'm going to go look for the husband. I can totally take 'im!

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Tan fat IS better than white fat.

Well I was right.

Tan fat is better than white fat.

And the pool is open, and I am now tan.

And I think I look good...or at least better.

Well at least I thought this way until I got my new scale today.

Yeah, I weigh the same as when I originally started.

Of course this perhaps is the first accurate scale I've had in my house in quite a while...;)

On the gym front:
I haven't talked about the gym in a while. So 3 weeks ago I took a week off from cardio because I just needed a break.

Then I went dancing...in heels...drunk.

Yeah, I sprained my ankle.

Commence the laugh-fest.

Done yet?


OK...just a little more time...

So I took one more week off to heal.

Week 3: The kids both have camp at 9am, and the time causes me not to be able to go to spinning class. So YESTERDAY I finally made it to the gym for some cardio. I crammed it in between dropping off the boy at karate and picking him up 40 minutes later.

One thing I can say for having no time is that it causes to you haul ass on the elliptical.

3 miles in 24 minutes baby!

One other thing I have to say is that the college kids are home.

They have all joined my gym.

I've never seen more young hot guys preening around testosterzone.





You should come visit me.

I'll take you to the gym.

Unless you're a guy

And your straight.

Then I've got nothin' for ya.


Go to your own gym.

Oh...one last thing...

Don't worry.

The boobs are not back.

I'm still buff.

I can lift with a sprained ankle.

I'm still all pecks baby!

You know, if that's your thing.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Wulong, Oolong, Could it be wrong?

I am constantly looking for new products to try to benefit my diet and recently have become aware of Wulong (oolong) tea. I have always loved tea, but have had to give it up because of my body's aversion to caffeine. But then I read this article about the tea. In it it states that "oolong tea has half the caffeine of green tea." I was starting to get excited that maybe I had finally found something I could drink. And then I read this...

japanese women who consumed oolong tea for 6 weeks and saw a reduction in weight"

and this

it involved 11 japanese women who consumed either water, green matcha tea, or oolong tea after a meal. the results were interesting. oolong tea appeared to increase energy expenditure by 10%, green tea by 4%, and water not at all. this means that you burn more fat when you drink oolong or green tea after a meal."

Whadiddy, wha, wha, wha???

Yeah...I'm totally in. So I ordered some.
After I ordered it I read this in the comments:

"I have been drinking oolong tea at least 4-6 cups per day during the past holiday season, with meal or anytime I want to eat snack... To my delight, the pant size is drop one whole size!"

Cross your fingers people!

I'll keep you updated.

Well as soon as my scale arrives.

Oh...and it tastes really good too. But I seem to be having the same sleep issues that I have when I drink caffeine. Maybe I'll stop drinking it by noon.

Unless I drop a whole pant size.

You know...I'm not completely crazy.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

No really...

People look at my oh so white son shivering at the pool and say,
"Little B is so skinny! Who did he get that from?"

"Me." I say, "No really, I used to look like that. Really. I did."

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Broke down Kelly

So I broke down.

I did it.

I admit it.



I bought this.

It hasn't shipped yet.

What are you going to do with me?

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

A little help please.

I'm trying something new. Well it's not new. It's old. But it's new this week. And the place you have to go to is new. So help me out, will ya?

I know some of you have offered in the past to help me with the food intake. So here I am, asking for help. I've set up a little on-line food journal. And if you feel so inclined hop on over, and let me have it!

I've been working since January to drop some pounds/sizes but I've lost nothing and have gotten bigger. And as we all know I work out...a lot.

So it must be the food.

Or my body has gone haywire.

I have a leeeeeetle doctor phobia, however, so I'm going with the food for now.

So...wanna help?

I'll take any advice. Though I do have some food allergies. But I'll post those as well over at Starving Kelly's Munchorama.


Friday, May 25, 2007

MILF Weekly Weigh-In

I really should be kicked out of this group. I didn't give a crap what I weigh right now. All I know is that it's bathing suit season, and I'm prayin' for rain! Come on baby! Rain. Rain all summer long! Because Kelly's cellulite is fantastic right now, and I can only make excuses of having my period for a few more weeks now before the kids will get suspicious.

And they've made that stupid new rule about not being allowed to be intoxicated while at the pool any more, so really I don't know how I'm going to be able to delude myself into thinking for more than five minutes that I am the hottest Mommy in a bathing suit at the neighborhood pool this summer!

Rain baby! Rain.

Wait, let me look at the forecast...

Chance Of T-Storm Chance Of T-Storm Chance Of T-Storm Chance Of T-Storm Chance Of T-Storm Chance Of T-Storm
Hi: 75°F
Lo: 61°F Hi: 79°F
Lo: 61°F Hi: 81°F
Lo: 65°F


Thursday, May 24, 2007

Bathing Suit Hell

So I've been feeling pretty good since I stopped weighing. And then I realized the neighborhood pool was opening this weekend. I know that I can't get into my suits from last year. So I thought, "Hey! There's a sale a Macy's with a coupon today. I'm going to go suit shopping."

I got a new suit.

In a size I never in my life dreamed I would ever get too.

I'm not eating tonight, and I'm not taking off the tags yet.

And I'm cutting my calories.

At 1600 a day, that's going to be hard.

So much for letting myself get the sushi with the cream cheese tomorrow night.

And so much for feeling good.

I'd feel really, really bad except this just came into my office...

And this...

And this...

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

A little bit of whine...

Here is where I'm sore:

Vastus Medialus Muscle

Deltoid Muscle

Trapezius Muscle

Teres Major Muscle

Teres Minor Muscle

Semimembranosus Muscle

Biceps Femoris Muscle (long head)

Semimembranosus Muscle

Adductor Magnus Muscle


Now when is that next workout?

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

I am a total slacker.

So I haven't been here since Friday.

And the neighborhood pool opens this Saturday, and I have to put on a suit, in public after a night of out-out. (Explanation here.)

And today was the first day I hit the gym since last, ummmmm, Thursday.

And today I ate Jr. Whopper AND a medium onion rings.

And while working out I kept burping up the Whopper, Blech!

And I almost puked while on the ab machine, almost puked Whopper and onion rings.

And I'm not sure if I'm going to go to the gym the rest of the week.

Well except Friday when I promised to meet Tina.


I am a total slacker.

And tanning is an easier solution.

For tan fat is better than white fat.

And again, I'm a total slacker.

Watcha gonna do about it?

Friday, May 18, 2007

Future MILF: Weekly Weigh-In


Saturday--45 minutes spin class; 30 minutes family walk
Monday--45 minutes spin class
Tuesday--1 hour weight training
Thursday--45 minutes weight training; 30 minutes elliptical

Diet: Before I want to talk about diet I want to talk about the scale. As you can see I got rid of my scale. It's the weirdest feeling. At first I was in a state of panic. I felt completely out of control. I even got on-line looking at scales. But now 6 days have past. And I haven't had one scale-induced bad mood.

For me it has been the worst feeling in the world to work so hard and show no difference on the scale. In fact I was starting to believe all of the naysayers out there that I was lying to myself. The paranoia had started to set in. I had images of myself in a hunger induced trance standing in the kitchen eating in the middle of the night like that one show they had on Dateline about sleep-eating or was it 20/20? I mean there was no logical explanation for me not to be losing weight, and it had to be my fault didn't it? Somehow?

But then I smashed up my scale.

And after the panic subsided a nice pattern kicked in. I've started obsessing less about the food going into my body. I'm eating only if I'm hungry. A couple of times this week I've even started to recognize when I'm full.

I seem to be eating to fuel my body, rather than eating to fill a food or diet quota. It's crazy! I don't know if I'd call it a breakthrough or not as I've only been scaleless for a week. And who knows if this will last. But it certainly made this week better! Once I even looked in the mirror at myself and smiled. What tha? When was the last time that happened?


Diet: Doin' good! Eatin' well! And feeling better.

Question for the MILF ladies: Care to join me???

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Blogthings - Starving Kelly Style a.k.a. I skipped working out today and have nothing else to say.

You Are Destined to Struggle With Your Weight

Like most people, you find it a little difficult to stay at at weight you're comfortable with.
If you change a few habits and make food less important, you may find the struggle hardly exists anymore.

Dagnabit! But that's OK because...

Your Body Image is 32% Unhealthy, 68% Healthy

You're body image is quite healthy, though you're sometimes a little bit too hard on yourself.
Chances are you've got a rockin' body - so enjoy it!

And just in case you were wonderin'...

What Your Underwear Says About You

Your underwear is probably really, really old.

You're comfortable in your own skin - and don't care to impress anyone.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

“Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.” Christopher Lasch

What was Starving Kelly's favorite part of Mother's Day you ask?

Well shopping of course!

And most importantly getting new clothes to make her feel pretty.

See my new shirt?

Yeah, it was only 30% off.

So why did Starving Kelly break her "60% off minimum or she no buy it" rule?

Yeah, enough said.

Now we just have to get the booty to fall in suit.

Come on booty!

Think pre-children days.

Do it. Do it. DO IT!

Oh and if you were wondering...no I haven't lost any weight yet.

But my scale did die a sad death this weekend.

So I wouldn't know.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

A lesson for Starving Kelly

So a couple of friends of mine decided to try the hoodia pills, and before I researched taking hoodia, I agreed to split a bottle with them for a try. My understanding was that it was supposed to be used to affect your metabolism. And hey, I obviously am having some troubles there! So I got the bottle of pills and read..."appetite supressant."

OK...I don't overeat because I'm too hungry. I usually overeat because I'm bored. So here lies problem one. Anyway this caused me to stop and think a little, "What else don't I know about what I'm sticking into my body?"

So I did a lot a research. And guess what I found? Apparently a lot of hoodia pills don't actually contain the appropriate amount of hoodia necessary to produce any type of change. In fact one article I read only recommends 3 manufacturers of the hoodia pills period. That was quite a shock!

Thirdly the hoodia plant apparently is on the endangered species list, and manufacturers have to obtain a CITES certificates -- Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora. Many are not doing this. And does my selfish need to find an easy fix justify my helping extinguish a speciest of plant? I don't know. I think I need to think some more about this.

So what is the moral of my story? Remember Kelly, remember Kelly, remember Kelly...do not succumb to the easy.

There is no easy!


Tuesday, May 08, 2007

You own, personal, Jesus....

Hot Superman was back yesterday, and apparently the airconditioning in spinning class was not. Holy moly it was hotter than "Georgia asphalt!" After class was over I looked like I had just taken a shower. Hot Superman said to me as he gave me a high five, "Girl, way to get your sweat on!" I guess it's bad when the instructor feels the need to say something to you about your sweat.

Anyway, I'm not as enamored with Hot Superman. His class was a booger which is good. But he ruined one of my favorite songs. It happened when he announced that we were going to do some standing sprints to which we all whined, "Oh maaaaannnnnn!"

He then said, "Now, now ladies. Remember it's called a work out not an easy out!" Then he started the next song.

And yelled/sung with the music, "Reach out and touch faith!"

And 1/2 way through the song he said, "This is your marathon ladies. And you've just reached mile 26!"

And I was reminded of Oprah who said after she ran a marathon, "Once you get to that 26th mile, I don't care if you're religious or not, you'll see Jesus."

And I don't know if it was the music, or the fact that I had forgotten my inhaler, or the now ruined song, but I believe I did.

I think I saw Jesus. Or at least it was my "own, personal, Jesus!"

Friday, May 04, 2007

Weekly Weigh-In

Weight: Nothing lost; nothing gained.

Saturday - 20 minutes walking
Sunday - 20 minutes walking
Monday - 45 minutes spinning; 2 hours heavy yard work
Tuesday - 45 minutes lifting
Wednesday - 45 minutes spinning
Thursday - Rest
Friday - 1 hour lifting

Diet: Started Monday on crappy low-carb B.S. Well actually I started last week, but ended up cheating every day until Monday. What can I say? Low-carb is really, really, really hard.

Anyway, nothing lost and nothing gained but a new t-shirt! My husband is absolutely mortified at the idea of me wearing this shirt out of the house. And being in the crazy no sugar state of mind that I'm in, I'm thinking, "What's more out of the house than a few pictures on the internet? Right?"

But the pictures were boring. So I started messing with the colors. I tried the green. Kind of gross looking I think. Then I went for the blue, because I'm so blue about missing my sugar. (Yeah, yeah, yeah...bad joke. I know. My brains all fried with no sugar, seeeeeeee?) I don't mind that one. But the daughter insists that the pink is the very best, you know because she's 5.

Anyway, after 3 experiments I got bored again. Why? Because I have the attention span of a nat, and no sugar really isn't helping. Can I bitch more about getting no sugar?

Why yes, yes I can!

I think I'm going to give the low-carb experience, much to my family's chagrin, one more week. I’m just that kind of crazy right now. So be prepared for the foggy, the grumpy, and the sad. And of course be prepared for more bitching.

Of course pink is really cheery. Maybe my daughter is right. Pink might be the best color for helping me right now.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

The Introduction of Hot Superman

Yesterday I drug myself to spinning class, not motivated at all. While I was warming up, in walked this HUGE, like pro-football player huge, hot guy with a Superman t-shirt. As he walked in all of the regulars groaned. I look around and said, “What, what?”

One lady said, “you’ll see…”

I did see. Oh did I see. He completely and totally kicked my ass. And 30 minutes in I was negotiating with myself, “If you can finish the whole class doing what he says exactly, you don’t have to spin tomorrow.”

Then he started in with the standing sprints, and I thought, “If you can just make it ½ way through these sprints, you don’t have to spin tomorrow.”

And then after 6 sets of jumps, he started with a three minute sitting ride where we had to crank up the tension, over, and over, and over again. As my legs were screaming I thought, “If you can just keep moving until the end of class, you don’t have to spin tomorrow.”

And then we finished. And we stretched. And the high kicked in. And I thought, “I’m totally doing this again tomorrow.”

Then I went home, worked in the yard, and as I was driving my daughter home from school, my muscles started tightening up. I forced myself to finish my yard work before the storm started, and after I sat down in my living room huffing and puffing I realized, “I can’t get up. If I get up it will hurt, badly. I really just can’t move. I should spin tomorrow to work this out.”

Then last night I woke up with the beginning of a leg cramp. I got up and stretched out. And as I went back to bed I thought, “Forget that. I’m totally NOT going to spin tomorrow.”

Though I will miss Hot Superman. I wish he weren’t only a sub. I’d let him kick my ass any day!

Sunday, April 29, 2007

One Day Blog Silence

One Day Blog Silence

There has been a lot of criticism for those choosing to be silent tomorrow, April 30th. And I agree, sometimes silence isn't the healthiest of ways of dealing with one's sorrow. However, I also believe that some talk too much. And perhaps if we in our busy lives would sit and be silent, and remember all who suffer in this world, we might be kinder to each other and ourselves. And for that reason I am choosing to be silent tomorrow.

Join me or not. The choice is yours. And I’m certainly not going to choose for you.