Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Don't you know flat is the new perfect physical specimen?

Today I decided to check out how some of you ended up here reading my little blog. Here are the latest search’s:

1. Ch-ch-check
--out my rock hard pecs! Oh yeah. I know you’re jealous. Don’t you know flat is the new busty?

2. Kelly Day
--Isn’t ever day Kelly day. No? It should be.

3. Her new glasses site
--yeah, haven’t we’ve gone over this?

4. What muscles does skipping hit
--None. That’s my problem see? That’s why I’m at the gym 5 days a week!

5. After a workout face looks bloated
--Really? Mine just looks heart-attack red. If someone asks me if I’m OK one more time…

6. Rolly polly gym for birthdays
--That would be the perfect present. A gym where you work on being a rolly polly. I think I would be their fitness model.

7. How come I weigh more after I workout
--Damned if I know. Tina? Anyone? Anyone???

And then there are these:
1. Starving to be skinny, Starving to be slim, Starve month, Starve pounds, I starve, Starving for 7 days, Starve for a month, Why I starve, Starving 3 weeks
--OK, these aren’t really funny. They are actually a little disturbing. Don’t you guys know I’m not really starving? It’s a joke, and over dramatization because I’m pissed that I don’t get to eat like a teen-ager any more? Don’t you know this? Because please, really, don’t starve yourself. It’s just not good. Seriously—1200 calories for the ladies and 1800 for the men is the MINIMUM. Seriously.

And finally there is this one:
1. PERFECT PHYSICAL SPECIMEN
--Why thank you. Thank you very much. This brings a tear to my eye.

First, I’d like to thank my Mom who taught me about nutrition and then gave me my poor body image with her constant mentioning of my chicken legs.

Secondly, I’d like to thank my Dad who eats enough for 3 men for giving my bitterness that I cannot do the same.

Thirdly, I’d like to thank all of the nasty skinny be-atches out there who said nasty things to me that continues to spur me on.

And finally, I’d like to thank my friend Tina who keeps me strong by example.

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