Friday, March 30, 2007

Future MILF: Weekly Weigh-In

Weight: Well I'm a sucker and I did weigh in...down a pound. Which only takes me to being within one pound of where I was before my vacation. So I guess technically, I gained one pound on vacation? I don't know. I'm going with that.

Exercise:
Saturday: Lifted 45 minutes
Monday: Heavy lifting 1 hour; 20 minutes cardio on bike
Tuesday: Yoga/Pilates class that makes you sweat 1 hour
Wednesday - Heavy, heavy lifting 1 1/2 hours
Thursday - Spinning Class - 45 minutes (my butt still hurts).
I still need to get in one more cardio. I'm either going to go to spinning class Saturday morning at 8 or the elliptical today or tomorrow for 30 minutes. We'll see...

Diet: I started out strong with my new diet but Wednesday I had 2 pieces of thin-crusted cheese pizza and yesterday I had sushi (not really so bad...but I did have the ice dessert that night and sushi's not on the diet!). And tonight da husband and I are going out with friends for...sushi, again! I don't care. I love sushi!

In preparation for dinner I did a little research. The popular California Roll is about 270 calories. I had another roll called a Keaton and when you add the cream cheese factor to this my guess would be that it was about 370-400 calories. Anything with fried fish in it you can assume 500-600 calories per role. So tonight I think I'll order the New York (just like California only it's shrimp instead of crab), some edamame at 160 calories and maybe some Miso soup at 85 calories. Or maybe I'll have a cucumber at 136 calories or avocado roll at 140 calories...I don't know, I don't know! I'm getting hungry! How about you?

This rambling about what I'm going to eat for dinner during the breakfast hour reminds me of my family. There are many of us in my family who get crazy hungry right before each meal. We're grumpy, sullen, and not pleasant. But we will talk about food pleasantly as if we're reviewing a great piece of art. My Dad, who is one of the crazy, used to joke after one of these food discussions, "I think we are all fat people just dying to get out!"

Well Dad, I'm out!

But I'm trying to go back in. Wish me luck!

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Spin this New Flirty Receptionist Guy!

So finally Tina talked me into going to a spinning class. Actually it was my idea, and she prevented me from chickening out. Chickening out? I was terrified. I completely did not sleep well last night thinking about it. And about until 1/2 through the class I was not enjoying it.

But that's one thing I can say about the spinning class. About 1/2 through you get the adrenaline buzz. I liked it, and quite frankly I haven't gotten the buzz in a long time. I think I've gotten too used to what I've been doing.

Long story short, I ended up really enjoying the class even though I was completely drenched in sweat. And we all know, I do not like to sweat!

And since I'm talking about the gym, we've gotten a replacement guy for the Flirty Receptionist Guy. He, however, doesn't hold a candle to the old one. Yesterday when Tina and I were lifting they were playing this hideous teen-age techno music. Not the good techno music with the heavy guitar rift, but the kind that only 13-year-old teen-age girls like. When Tina complained to the girl at the front desk she turned to the new guy and said, "See...nobody likes that music!"
He replied, "But that's what all the gyms are playing."

Oh New Flirty Receptionist Guy, you are sorely mistaken. When you are working out, I don't care who you are, you need a heavy guitar rift to bring out the testosterone in testosterzone and get you going. Everybody knows that. I think it's time for you to go.

Next!

On the diet front I was doing really well until last night. It was 6pm, I was starving, and my son said to me, "Can we order pizza?"

"Why yes my boy, we can!"

I was 1/2 through my 2nd piece of cheese thin-crusted pizza, my favorite kind, and I thought...wait a minute. What am I doing? I just blew it.

Oh well, I was back on track this morning.

Baby steps.

Oh and by the way, son you are off the favorite list.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

I am the skinny, buff girl!

I love yoga. I love the stretching, pulling, calm music, and peace. I love how I feel before in anticipation of it, during the stretching of it, and the after when I feel like a tall skinny woman.

The problem with yoga, however, really isn't the problem with yoga. It's where I take yoga. The room is filled with mirrors. Big, huge, awful mirrors!

Every once in a while I'm really in the zone I catch a glimpse of myself. I am genuinely shocked and frightened at the same time.

"Who is that fat girl trying to do that strength pose? ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.... Wait. That's me! Oh lord! Is that what I look like? OK...close your eyes. Don't look at her. Feel the stretch. The big girl does not exist. The big girl does not exist. The big girl does not exist. You are the skinny buff girl that's in front of her. Yes you are. The skinny buff girl. Yes you are! Do you feel the stretch? Yeah, take that fat girl! I'm not you! I'm the skinny buff girl."

What? I know I'm not the only one!

Perhaps if I believe it enough, it will be true.

Photo by kk+'s photos

I'm starving even in my dreams!

You know you're on a diet when...

You dream about the dessert section of an Asian buffet and instead of the usual almond cookies, little donuts, pudding, and fruit, there are warm brownies, apple pies, and strawberry shortcakes with real whipped cream. And just before you can eat it all up...you wake up.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Rambling about being bored, eating, and such

I'm trying to cram in a quickie before I have to leave this morning. No...that's not what I'm talking about. Geez...get your head out of the gutter people!

Anyway, I feel totally rejuvinated after my week off of the plan. I was really getting burned out and quite frankly I was totally not doing well in the eating front. I think I was eating OK, but I was not tracking anything so who really knows.

While I was gone I went back in time to the girl who was naturally skinny and lived life as such. It was such a relief not to think about food and dieting all of the time, and to be so busy that I didn't really eat out of boredom.

I think that's my big problem. I have plenty of stuff to do, but my brain is not busy. And I really don't know how to solve this problem. I've filled my time with bookclub, blogging, dinner club, coffee hours, and the gym. But I'm still really unsatisfied. I've thought of going back to work, but my husbands schedule is so insane that I would get no support. My workload would become equivalent to that of all of you single Mom's out there. And why would I deliberately go there? I'm going to at least wait for Big D to get sick of me or I sick of him before I get myself into that situation.

Besides if I'm as busy as I am now and am still unsatisfied, is it really because I'm not stimulated from lack of working outside of the home? Or is it because nothing will satisfy me? And why is that? I don't know. If I knew my problem would be solved.

So as you can see, I still have the problem with feeling unfulfilled and bored and obsessing over food because of it. I guess I need to still think and write about it some more.

Suffer along with me will you?

Any of you out there with a similar problem?

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Today I weighed...

I know it's not Friday, but I weighed. And....drum roll...I gained 4 pounds.

When I weighed my husband was standing right next to me. I said to him, "I gained 4 pounds. How much did you gain?"

Da husband, "1 pound."

Me, "You suck."

pause...

Me, "I guess that's not very supportive. Good job Big D!"

Da husband not looking up from the magazine he's reading, "Yeah, that's not very supportive."

pause...

Me under my breath, "You still suck."

Friday, March 23, 2007

Psycho song sends me to the wine, and yet I still stay in my food budget!

Well I'm back. And I'm too scared to get on the scale. That's a good thing right? To not get on the scale? I'm going with it anyway. I don't think I did too badly. We managed to find some healthy options while at Epcot the first day. But having a $300/family food day we decided we'd have to find some cheaper street vendors that served healthier food.

OK.

You can stop laughing now.

We were unsuccessful. I don't think I had one fruit, vegetable, or fiber item that entire day. Well unless you can count grease as fiber. But we did have an $80/family food day that day.

So after that crazy day, we reached a happy compromise at the $200 food days. We got some vegetables and fruit. We ate non-fried food. But we still got our beer.

What? You didn't know beer was served at Disney World? Why yes it is. Well not at the Magic Kingdom, ummm or at Animal Kingdom. But at Epcot...yeah baby, they serve the beer!

Oh and I forget this every time I go back to Oklahoma. But did you know you could buy tiny little bottles of wine that have only 1 or 2 glasses in them? I love those! And conveniently the little shop in our hotel had these yummy little bottles waiting for me when I came home not being able to get "It's a Small World" out of my head. (My God, how do the people who work that ride not go completely insane? It's like a song out of a bad horror movie. But my 5-year-old loved it.)

On the exercise front, I did go to the gym to lift...once. What can I say I was entirely too tired to get up earlier than 6am any day except one. (Yes. We got up at 6am every day. We had a plan...see?) Hopefully being on my feet from 7am until 6pm everyday was enough cardio to do it for me. We'll see.

...if I ever get the nerve to hit the scale again.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

I'm out of here!!!

I won't be getting on the computer for a while because I'm going to...


Wait for it.............................










Disney World!

And that means I won't be dieting. Wa.ha.ha.ha.haa......

I'll probably get in my cardio with the crazy amount of walking I'll be doing.

But I'm definitely not dieting! Can you feel my excitement. I can't wait to eat!!! Or is that a little sad that the most exciting thing about this trip is the fact that I'm not dieting? Oh well. That's OK because...


I'm not dieting!!!!


See you when I get back!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

In honor of the passing of the Flirty Receptionist Guy

Every time Tina and I see this commercial we die laughing because this guy looks and acts exactly like our Flirty Receptionist Guy, except with less hair. So in honor of him leaving...

So why a picture of Daniel Craig?

Because my cute flirty receptionist guy quit! Yes, all of the ladies at my gym are very sad. I can only hope they can find someone to fill his pants...errrrr...shoes. Anyway the picture is supposed to fill in until we can get a new live body to look at while I'm suffering through the elliptical machine.

I really have nothing more to say other than that. I'm still starving, still exercising like a machine. Oh, that reminds me...

Tina and I got the bright idea last Friday to add 90 pounds to the leg press machine. Well actually we were discussing it, and flirty reception guy came up to us hearing our conversation and said in his cute southern dumb jock accent, "You girls can do it. You're tough!"

And we replied with high pitched voices like two dumb little girls who had never talked to a boy before, "OK..."

Neither one of us could walk, well, for 2 days. Monday, however, was day 3. So I decided to do it again. And by Tuesday...no pain! I guess that's progress. Now if I can just get my shoulders to stop hurting.

Any tips flirty reception guy? Wait! You're gone! Waaaaaaaaaaaa!

Daniel?

Wordless Wednesday


{For more great Wordless Wednesday photos go to 5 Minutes for Mom}

Friday, March 09, 2007

Future MILF: Weekly Weigh-In Why?

This week has been a rough week filled with illness and missing spouses and messed up cars and crazy children. And ironically my scale has reflected this.

Weight loss: down 2 + up 2 + up2 + down 2= same weight.

Really ladies. Why are we weighing?

On the gym front I came to the realization the one day I was there. I'm still invisible. Pay attention to, ladies, the next time you're with a hot skinny friend, and people come up to the both of you to talk. Someday, you will notice that they don't even look at you when you respond to a question they've asked. They only listen to and look at your hot friend. And it's not just limited to the young dumb jocks...apparently creepy old ladies have this issue to. And then you realize that you're the "friend" they have to be nice to in order to get to talk to your hot friend. Talk about feeling degraded. And it occurs to you...you have become invisible.

I tell you as someone who has only in the past year become invisible...it's the creepiest feeling. It makes me glad that when I was not "the invisible girl" I used and abused my power for the good of all of my friends and myself. Memories of past power seem to be the thing that keeps me going during these new uncomfortable experiences.

Remember the time I stole your beer while you were looking right at me??? Yeah, that was for future me.

Remember the time I stole your cigarettes for a girlfriend while you were looking right at me??? Yeah, that was also for future me.

Remember the time I got you to help me move or help me with my car or help me with a home repair??? Yeah, those were definitely for future invisible me you son of a b*tch!

No, I'm not bitter. Well just a little maybe. Maybe that's why I was so aggressive in my last post.

And looking back over my past abuses I think, maybe I've given myself some bad karma.

Something to ponder anyway.

On the food front I discovered a new tasty snack:

Love them! It has only 50 calories a bag/no fat. For someone who is too lazy to make cinnamon apple chips themselves this is a great alternative. And if you need a crunchy something' with a sandwich, this would be a great alternative to very fatty and nutritional pointless chips. Finally, looking for something for a kid’s lunch? These would be a perfect addition. My only complaint is I really have to eat two bags to get satisfaction as each bag only contains 0.5 oz. I'd love to find these in bigger portions.

Well that's all for this week. I'm off to the gym to be ignored to work out. It's going to hurt. But I'll probably feel better afterwards...maybe.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Bring it be-atch!

Remember when I was excited about people coming up to me at the gym and talking to me? Now I just want them to shut the hell up and let me finish!!!

Or maybe I'm just getting bitter about people losing 5.5 pounds in ONE WEEK! You cocksuckers!

Oh and I broke down. I weighed. Thank goodness it was a loss. I think I would have thrown the scale out of the window.

Man why am I so grumpy! Oh yeah...

I'm hungry and every muscle in my body hurts.

Anybody up for a throw down? I've got some pent up energy I need to burn...

Come on...

BRING IT!

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

How is this news?

Isn't this article just common sense? Uh...yeah. Fat is bad for your health, and ummm yeah, it's going to cost the healthcare industry more. Uh...yeah. Hello?

OK...how is this news?

Perhaps the Brits are a little behind or something.

Just a joke!

No nasty e-mails from you Brits now!

Monday, March 05, 2007

Cough, Hack, Wow they fit!, hack, woah, I can't breath...

Today my jeans fit. Well that's nothing unusual except that I grabbed by mistake my old jeans...you know the one's I grew out of? What a shocker! (And no, I didn't weigh. I didn't want to ruin my day. If the jeans are a mental illusion, I don't want to know...at least not today.)

So this change begs the question: what did I change? I raised my caloric intake to 1800. Man if all I have to do is eat more...I'm in!

On the gym front I went...and stayed for 15 minutes. I had to stop. I couldn't breathe. I went to my nemesis, the doctor, and I'm now on 4 different medications.

One refill for my inhaler
One refill for my nose stuff
Steroids
Antibiotics

I think that should cover everything. What do you think?

Oh...and no I don't hate my doctor in particular. I just have this little phobia.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Give me strength

For the past few days I've had trouble staying focused. It's been about 2 months and with still no weight loss and my clothes getting nothing but tighter, I'm having trouble staying motivated. I am trying to make it to that 4-month marker. My husband's friend at work says that her Doctor told her when you simply change your lifestyle (yeah like there's anything simple about it) via nutrition and exercise, sometimes for some women it takes up to four months before the weight starts to come off.

But at times, like when my saboteur comes over, I want to just succumb. Succumbing to me means one of two things: Dropping my calories down to 1200 and starving myself to skinny or stuffing my face with crap. Last night, I stuffed my face with crap. And it was good... And you would think I'd feel better, but I don't. I feel worse.

So today I'm going to white knuckle it. I'm going to try to write out the negativity that's in me. I'm going to start my food day with my egg white oatmeal, move on to the gym, and carefully check everything I put into my mouth to make sure that I'm sticking to my plan of living well, not living skinny!

And hopefully by putting this down for the world to see, I will actually do it! God I hope so. Give me strength...